The Purple Team was given time to relax at a spa last night. Sad to say, I did not attend to the opportunity because I am into a more important matter - though I also want to pamper myself for free, huh.

It was a treat from the management because the Purple Team achieved the target for the second quarter of the year plus we were able to close a toxic project in just a week.

There are still more good things happening but sadly I am into transition mode. The last two weeks were harder for me because of my trembling attendance.  I am building another world.

I really wanted to quit but I also wanted to stick to my words and my work ethics. Hopefully by this week it will be over.

There are still more things to do…those left unfinished and waiting to be taken time. Hopefully after this stressful week, I’d be able to attend to those important matters…and yes, time for my loved ones.

I have sacrificed this whole week to make a dream happen and I made it. I just need to jump on some little hurdles and I will with all might just to reach the finish line.

Bagging two jobs at the same time is really pure luck but I need to pick only one of it to achieve another goal. I hope the last step won’t be too hard for me to let go of  a valuable experience again.

These people are too good to me. They are very supportive and I learned a lot from them in this endeavor and I think they will understand and support my decision to leave as soon as possible. Some good things never lasts they say but memories will always linger.

The unfathomable weather made me suffer from severe cough and slight fever. These conditions also gave me sleepless nights. It’s hard to get my ass off bed but I have to…I need to.

Another thing that bothers my sleep is my present job offer. My current job don’t want to let go of me, not too soon as I wanted. The new job offer is tempting and I need to give it a shot. It is way near to my dream to be on the mainstream.

I need a cure for these. Drink my medicine. Decide and choose which way to go.

“To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did”.

When God takes something from your grasp, He’s not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.

Concentrate on this, “The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God
will not protect you.”

Something good will happen today, something that you have been waiting for to hear.

I might turn back.
Go back to where I started.
Take the same steps again.
Move away from where I focused now.

To the old place where I dwell with happiness.
It’s where my fate is taking me.
Will I see light at the end of the tunnel?
Or will I be lost forever?

Do you converse with yourself? I do.
Listening to your internal self could help you in gain some and lose some - that is if you are an optimist or a pessimist. I am aware that my second kind of thinking falls more on the negative side and more often I am riddled with doubts and anxieties. This is normal to every human being, right? But this merely affects my self-concept.
Good thing, I am surrounded by people who always look on the positive side. Slowly, they help me open my mind to always think on the brighter side.
As they say, if you think negative, you’re just hurting yourself and downplaying your goals in life. And if you think positively, you’re helping yourself to keep things in perspective at the same time determine your strength to fulfill your tasks in life.
Through these people I am now practicing a feel good mantra so I can do something to improve myself, escape the prison of the past to draw me closer to what I want to achieve and move beyond my history.

I survived the heat despite the scorching pain it brought. The burn is healing but the process is slow and the changing weather could cause delay for the wound to totally cure.

But I wanted it to heal no matter how hard the rain pours on the coming days. I wanted to see the light at the end of the tunnel however dark it will be and how frustrating the events will turn to try to drown me.

I can feel the floodwater on my neck but I am not gasping with my breath yet. I can still try to swim and persuade myself to stay afloat while humming the song that goes…there’s a rainbow always after the rain.

Yesterday afternoon, I have seen Denzel Washington’s flick The Book of Eli.
It’s kinda boring on the first part but my attention was caught until the end. As the title itself goes, the story evolved in a piece of book that Denzel (Eli) possessed. It was the Bible (New Version King James) - a Braille book because Eli was blind.
You see, despite of Eli’s condition, he was able to memorize and live by the teachings of the Bible. He was able to protect the sacred book for the sake of mankind (those who survive the apocalypse).
The movie refreshes me of my faith. I may not be blind like Eli but I faced (am facing) a lot of trials. Like Eli, I am walking for thirty years now, but Eli never thought he was lost - that is because of his faith, and in that case I was guilt stricken.
Why? Because all along I pray but there were times that my faith stumbled. I became weak. I did not believe, in my self, of what I can do, of what and how can I resolve things. Sometimes, I did not believe. And this weak faith drew my ill fate.
Blind Eli have accomplished his mission and I hope to finish mine too and to achieve it I must draw from the strength within. I must walk by faith…the Lord is my Shepard.